Cook-Out "Cooked Outdoors Style"

For lunch, for dinner, for late night 'I am hammered and I will literally eat anything', Cook-Out is always a good choice. If you live in NC/SC you know what one is, you know how good it is, and you know that you probably will order way more than you wanted to. It's not really fast food, for my CNY/Utica readers it is essentially a Voss' on the go with way more options, and for someone that doesn't get that reference, Cook-Out is a perfect hybrid between fast food and sit out burger restaurant. Boom. The best part? The price, you would pay more for a 'value meal' at a BK or Wendy's and get a flat "burger" with suspect fries for the same price of a HUGE real burger with fresh cut fries AND a shake! (Side note: this review was a long time coming, I have eaten here about a dozen times before I did a review, why? Because I inhaled the food before I could get a crappy cell phone picture of it!)

Bigger picture than normal but this gives you the idea quality/quantity and price!

That's lot of choices! And if you are in a hurry you can order via their TWO drive-thru windows and there is also a walk up window on the other side of the building! Everything is always fresh and hot, I have never ever had a wilted fry or cold hot dog from here. Now, a rookie move is pulling up and not knowing what you want. Why? Because you tend to start 'ordering hungry' which could lead to multiple bags of heart-stopping goodness. And what is a must? Adding on to your burger or hot dog! My favorite? A huge (that's a small patty on a larger patty) burger Cook-Out style with chili, slaw, mustard and onion mmmmm.....

This cost $21.48 (huge cheddar burger, regular Out-West burger, cheddar dog, hushpuppies, chili-cheese fries, chicken strips and a Peanut butter fudge shake)

What did I like? Well, what don't I like? I could list everything I have ever eaten there and then explain each thing but I am not going to do that for obvious reasons.... But, I will tell you what is a must if you are heading out to a Cook-Out for the first time. One, you need a burger from here. It isn't like a Mickey D's burger that looks like a clay disc that was boiled (blah). It is real hand formed ground beef burger, BOOM! Sizes are small, regular, large and, my favorite, HUGE. You get to then add on for .65-.85 cents, cheddar, steak, Cook-Out and Out-West! What goes better with a burger than homemade chili and cheese on some freshly cut fries! Feeling that tingle? That may be the early signs of a heart attack but you have to keep adding on! A hot dog is a must with a .65 cent add on of cheddar, Mexi and Cook-Out. Finally, it wouldn't be a Southern meal with out .99 cents for of a dozen hushpuppies! (They fry these in the same fryer that cooks the onions rings so it has a nice onion-esk taste). If you have a hankering for something sweet then look no further than there 35 choices of homemade shakes from Blueberry Cheesecake all the way to Peanut Butter Fudge. Too thick? A Cheerwine float with a shot of soft-serve vanilla is a more 'healthy' (hahahahaha) choice.

This is a immaculate HUGE cheddar burger (Onions, cheese, mayo and REAL bacon)

What would I change? Now as much as I have praised the daylights out of this place EVERYONE has room for improvement, but nothing drastic here. From order, to paying, to driving away is fine; it's as long as you would expect to wait from a semi-fast food place, think '5 Guys Order Timing.' So, that isn't so much of a problem as it is just an FYI. But, there are a few things on that rather voluminous menu that I would avoid like the plague. This is something that saddened me, their quality of  their onion rings. Booooo! Sadly, the breading was flimsy, which lead to a weird cooking of the onion which leads to sub-par onion rings. All the onion rings do that thing that every ring eater hates... you take a bite and then the whole onion rips out and then you are stuck eating a scorching hot 1,000 degree onion while holding the shell of it's breading... if you don't know what I am talking about then you must have a very active and healthy lifestyle and I applaud you. The only other downside is their chopped BBQ. It... it isn't right to eat 'drive thru BBQ' (can you hear me McDonald's and your gross McRib, nasty.) Their pulled or chopped 'pork' looks like canned pet food or maybe ground meat? Avoid please.

'God Bless America' is on very take out object... (I don't know how I feel about that)

 Recommendation? If you are hungry and want something quick please do not go to BK, Wendy's, McDonald's etc... Look out for Cook-Out! They are scattered all over NC/SC and should be your first option for greasy on-the-go-food. For two dinner is cheaper than any crappy Chili's or Outback and is way better, trust me. I have only broken a $20 once and that's because I was trying to see what it would take (and I was hungry, and yes it was for two people.) Never underestimate that 'Co_ _ _ut' sign (I have never seen a Cook-Out neon sign that has all it's letters.) Now I am going for a 100 mile run to burn off a 1/4th of that HUGE cheddar burger.

A link to all Cook-Out's, it's essentially a locations tab and menu: Cook-Out "Cooked Outdoors Style"

Stool Pigeons

Who doesn't like dirty bars? Me. I heard good things about this place so I went in with some-what high hopes... oops. The first thing I should have noticed that there was about 20 people smoking outside in jeans and dirty hoodies, typically a warning there will not be fine dinning ahead. Then the notorious 'please wait to be seated sign' quickly followed by a "hey you, you can sit anywhere" from the downtrodden bar tender. Finally, I got to wait on a waitress that came over after she finished talking to her friends and figured that she may want to wait on a table. Nice. Maybe the food could pick this bar/restaurant out of its very apparent tailspin, maybe...

Do I get a flashlight with my burger?

So, already in a deep whole, I wondered what should I order? I would have asked the waitress but, I think she was more concerned about that gum she was chomping on or that her friends might think she was lame for taking care of the costumer. So, I opted for a order of loaded fries and 3x10 orders of wings in various flavors. Oh, before I forget this place was labeled as a 'sports bar' which would have lead me to believe that they would have important sport games on their up to date 32' tube TVs (har har har)... not so much. Not only couldn't I hear any of the NBA/NCAA games on but I couldn't make out if I was watching Michigan State v. Ohio State or a I-Pad commercial. Now lets talk about the food!

Heart attack heaven... mmmm irregular heart beat

What did I like? This was the first place that I have even eaten load fires and they weren't soggy. The fries were crisp, the cheese was good, the bacon was real and the portions were good for only a couple of bucks. I know this may seem moot that I am hyping loaded fries but it's hard to find a place that doesn't serve up a platter of mushy potatoes with semi-cold cheese and bacon bits or in some cases Beggin' Strips. And then I struggle to find anything else that would lead me to another positive comment about this place...

Wings? Right? I don't know really, you tell me...

What would I change? When I order wings at a restaurant is it too much to ask that the wings aren't as big as Little Caesar instant-wings-too go? This is the first place in a long time that I could not tell the difference between their hot, honey BBQ and teriyaki flavors. How is that possible? It's because they did not take the time to cook, toss and serve wings. Not enough sauce, not crispy, small size AND were not cheep by any means. IT'S A SPORTS BAR [liberal on the word sports.] Then of course the celery and carrots are going to be as flexible and about as edible as Gumby, don't know who Gumby is? That's a shame, Google him. Then, I was like okay wings, epic fail, they have to have good beer and shots specials right? I mean they seem to push the booze here... nope. Not even domestic specials, and shots? Well, if you want anything other than rubbing alcohol with grenadine syrup you will be paying over six to seven dollars a shot. Nice.

Recommendation? Is there really any question to what I am going to say? I always write the review of the restaurant in my head as I eat... I thought I was going to end with: "well if you want to grab a beer and watch some sports etc..." NO. Not even a hint of a HD TV, a game day beer special, or a food item that won't send you to the ICU... Some may say I am being to harsh but I would just like to keep people from being blindsided like I did by rave reviews about this place. If you are heading to the Stool Pigeons make sure you follow this check list: don't shower/shave, dress like you are about to mow your lawn and make sure you talk loud enough for everyone to hear you talk about your 'high profile job' that includes words like 'I', 'am', 'a', 'substitute', 'bus driver'.

If you didn't read anything I just wrote here is their website: Stool Pigeons