Smash Burger (Stonecrest)

I would normally start with a "I haven't been at this in awhile rant" not today. I want to start off this time by using and old but true cliche... Money can't buy taste. That should be the slogan for Smash Burger (Note: I am only using the word 'burger' because it is in the title of the restaurant or to be ironic.) This particular location is nestled in the HQ for over-priced, over-rated, food and merchandise... South Charlotte at StoneCrest. Yikes. So... lets get started with this nightmare...

Smashing idea Watson! (Not quite)

So, I walk in not knowing what to expect. What do I order? What are they famous for? I look behind the counter to make my selection... no giant menu. In fact no menu. I had to ask the kid (maybe 11 or 12yrs old) where is the menu? He points to this small laminated thing and I notice a few things right away...

1. Burgers. Fires. Drinks where all separate... fail
2. No indication of why they are called smash burger... fail
3. Prices... fail
4. AND when I finally asked what their specials were... this 9yr old cashier said "Um, I think it is whatever the picture is on the front of my register"... fail

   

   The fire extinguisher was the most exciting decoration  

    

    

    

I ordered the special... What it was advertised as: BBQ, Applewood Smoked Bacon, Sharp Cheddar, Tangy BBQ sauce and onion strings. WHAT I actually got was a burger that looked like a Russian tank brigade ran over. No BBQ sauce. One piece of maybe bacon. American cheese and some C+ onion strings. SPEAKING OF STRINGS! Their fries look more like potato thread. Thin. Small. Expensive. Over cooked. The same adjectives you would use to describe a lot of the housewives around that area (rim shot, you're welcome.)

These fries are so grossly thin and pointless they could have a show on Bravo

In short. I have to say I will not be back and you should not go. Unless you are a masochist, then have at it. Add this to the list of over-priced major disappointments such as but not limited too:

• Bone Fish Grill (Gag, I mean who doesn't love expensive seafood in land locked Wisconsin?!)
• Flemming's Prime Steakhouse ($$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$)
• Zoe's Kitchen (I need to write about this one just for fun, this is the ultimate dumpster fire)
• Buffalo Wild Wings (The king of the $9 Michelobs and soggy, flaccid, micro 'wings?')
• P.F. Changs (Pretty much the Olive Garden of Chinese food and culture)

I am going to start doing these blogs more regularly. If you have any places you think I would like OR any places you would think I would love to hate PLEASE e-mail me at godfatherofsports@gmail.com.  

 Normally here is where I would offer the restaurant's website... not this time.